Unease
by rustyfeed
Summary: "It had been three months of peace. Three months, and yet Jin Kisaragi couldn't bring himself to treat Noel Vermillion the treatment she deserves. He truly wanted to change, but when he faces her, he had a reflex of still treating her as trash." One Shot.


It had been three months of peace. Three months, and yet Jin Kisaragi couldn't bring himself to treat Noel Vermillion the treatment she deserves. For a reason he couldn't fathom, the blond couldn't bring himself to change for her sake, he couldn't acknowledge her normally... His body automatically triggers his usual demeanor around her: being hostile towards the caretaker of the church even if he wasn't influenced by his personal weapon anymore. He truly wanted to change, to stop treating Noel like shit, but when he faces her, he had a reflex of still treating her as trash.

"I need some fresh air." Jin muttered to nobody. He left the chambers of his office and hurriedly headed to the elevator, where he would be taken to the ground floor. He wasn't claustrophobic, but the confined spaces made him nauseated. He dismissed the fellow soldiers that approached him to inquire about his leave with a wave of his hand. He had no plans on wasting any more time inside the building.

Jin let out a deep breath as the ray of sunshine greeted his vision. Outside was more lively than the tense atmosphere inside the office, which was filled with dread or jadedness as they were focused on doing paperwork if they weren't assign on the field. He scanned the busy sidewalks filled with customers doing normal things like window shopping, chatting with their friends, purchasing things...

Jin couldn't really care less, but at this point in time, he was glad the citizens weren't cowering in fear.

The blond just stood there, taking in every details that landed on his eyes until he saw a flash of golden streaks heading inside a small cafe.

...Noel?

Jin was already standing at the entrance, dumbfounded on how quick he arrived since it was a few blocks away from where he was. He pushed the door open, and was greeted by the friendly guard with a good morning. He softly responded his own greeting, then went on to search for the certain young woman. He took a few steps forward until he finally found her, pen in hand as she scribbled something down on the paper. He was struck with a realization: Why was he pursuing her in the first place? Noel had no reason to associate herself with him, especially with his rudeness towards her that she tolerated without blinking an eye. How could she even stand his ill-mannered interactions with her, especially when they used to work together as partners in some kind?

"Jin? What are you doing here?"

"Eh?" His train of thought was disrupted by her gentle voice. He glanced at her, seeing her bewildered expression as her hands covered the contents of the paper.

"I, um..." Jin was anti-social by nature, so small talks weren't his strongest suit. Seeing he couldn't come up with some form of excuse, he sighed in defeat and gazed at her, "I honestly don't know. I just... I wanna see you, Noel."

"H-huh?!" Noel's cheeks flushed pink as she pointed a finger at herself, "W-what?! See me?!" Realizing he was standing there, and probably being seen as a fool, she motioned her hand to the chair, "Please sit down, Jin..."

"Right. Um, thanks." Jin swallowed the lump on his throat and sat down, steeling himself on stripping off the layers of his shell to just admit whatever his heart was drumming inside his chest. He let out a deep breath, "...Look, I'm really sorry I still treat you like shit, even after you'd proved to me time and time again that you're growing as a person. I just don't know why I can't treat you nicely." He shook his head, "I'm a jerk, and frankly, you shouldn't had tolerated my behavior at all."

Noel just stared at him, eyes wide and mouth agape. After conjuring his words, she finally understood where he was coming from. Her lips curved into a small, genuine smile, which made him lose _his_ composure as his jaw dropped to the floor, "That's just who you are, Jin."

"Just that?" Jin narrowed his eyes with a frown on his lips, "The hell's wrong with you? Get angry at me!"

"No, I won't." She glanced down at the paper, then felt her cheeks getting warm, "As I'd said, that's just who you are. You're aloof and quiet, you can't be nice to me just like that." She gazed back at him, her smile never wavered, "I know some people are calling you out on your behavior towards me, but they haven't been on your side in the same moment as me. I'd been in your worst, tolerating your rashness as you genuinely wanted me dead." Her emerald eyes started to become teary, "It hurts, but I know deep down, you'll care for me too..."

"Noel..."

"When you're starting to look out for Tsubaki as I got caught up with something, you were starting to loosen up... You're being the Jin I know back from the academy..." She quickly swiped the tear that dared to roll down her cheek, "I can see it in your eyes, you know? You wanted to treat me nice, but you got so used on belittling me, and even so, you did these little things to show that you do care, you just can't speak it with words."

Noel had exposed that foreign feeling on his chest, and laid it out for him. He felt too uneasy on their conversation, but he didn't want to bail out now, not after staying with her for this long.

"If you come here to say sorry, I'd already forgiven you from long time ago, Jin."

He shook his head, "You shouldn't forgive me. My behavior is unacceptable."

"I'm sorry, but even if you still look down on me, I know that's just you."

"You're really a strange one." Jin closed his eyes and breathed through his nose.

The sound of footsteps came towards their direction. The waitress handed Noel her order with an apologetic bow, "I'm truly sorry for the delay, miss. We were packed with customers, and it was too much for us to hand out the orders as quick as possible. Again, we're sorry for our incompetence."

Jin swallowed the lump of his throat.

Noel gave the waitress an understanding smile, "Please, it's okay. Thank you for serving my order."

The waitress bowed and then left their table.

"Noel..."

"Y-yes?"

He sighed, "I'm sorry."

She was baffled, "B-but I'd already forgiven you-"

"But you have to hear it from me. It's the least I can do to... make amends." His uneasiness was slowly fading, like the weight on his shoulders were slowly being washed away, "I know you'd already forgiven me even if I didn't even apologize, but it's just not fair."

"Oh... Jin..." Noel placed her hands on her face as she cried.

On instinct, he quickly stood up from his seat to sit beside her. He wrapped his arms around her, letting his instincts take full control as his hand caressed his back and his other hand petted the top of her head. Noel shifted her face closer to his shoulder, staining his uniform with tears. He quickly scanned around to see if there were some nosy customers, and thankfully they all minded their own business.

This was all too surreal for Jin. At first, he felt too distant to even talk to Noel, and then suddenly, he felt relaxed when she released her emotions through tears. He honestly expected the amends to start slow...

He felt her hands shuffle to the side, taking the paper off the table. She gingerly pulled away, sniffing and rubbing her eyes with her free hand, "Please..." She handed him the paper as she averted her gaze, "R-read it, but quietly."

Jin gave her a deadpan stare, then took the paper from her hand. He moved a bit farther from her then quietly read the content of the paper. Noel fixed herself and dabbed her face with napkin tissues from the table.

The poem contained Noel's wish to have a good friendship with him, her determination to wait for that day to finally come, and she would do her best to never be an obstacle on his way again. She had to be strong, both physically and emotionally, to prove to him that she's not a piece of trash and she's someone he could trust. She hoped that one day she could be friends with him again...

"N-not everything can be spoken by mouth, so..." Noel stammered, carefully keeping an eye out on him as he read her paper, "Um, I wrote a poem about how I feel."

...That's right. How could he be foolish? Not everything can be said by words alone, actions tend to speak louder.

"I still have a lot more to learn... when trying to be more social, it seems." He gave her a timid smile, a rare thing for him to do.

Noel's face brightened, and she nodded, slipping out a small, cheery giggle, "I'll be happy to help you, Jin."

"Please... friend."

"I will, _good_ friend." Noel teased, earning a scowl from him.

"We still have a long way to go."

"There's no rules on how to befriend someone."

"There aren't?"

Noel shook her head. "No. It depends on how we communicate."

"I see." He glanced down at her poem, "I guess your wish has been fulfilled."

"Yeah..." Her cheeks were stained red, "This is the second time you'd read my poem..."

The first time was the time they first met back at the Academy...

"And this is the first time you're comfortable with someone reading your stuff."

"I-it's because it's-" Noel cut herself off, "Um..."

"Not everything can be spoken by mouth." Jin handed her the paper, "Feel free to write it down on this blank space."

Noel became too flabbergasted to respond. He just took her words and slapped it back to her face. That jerk! She threw her pen to his chest as retaliation, "Stupid jerk!" She glared daggers at him, her cheeks puffing air.

Jin couldn't help but chuckle at her rather adorable reaction. It certainly was more amusing to see than the cowering fear of his co-workers. "Sorry. You really had changed, Noel." His lips curled into a pleased smile, "I'm just thankful you still care for my company."

"Apology accepted," Noel sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose to release some stress, "As long as you don't tease me like that again."

"Deal."

They let the silence took over as they proceeded to regain their composure. Noel slid closer to him, as she consumed her long-forgotten tea.

She glanced up at him, "Are you hungry?"

"No."

"Oh, alright." A pause. "Um... Do you have plans on the weekend? We can hang out again, and I do wanna introduce you to Lambda and Nu..."

"I would like that very much." He smiled, feeling his body finally completely relax, the uneasiness gone for good. "I also wanna make up for lost time, if it'll be alright with you."

"That'll be great!" She giggled, then glanced at her wristwatch, "Oh, I guess it's time for me to head back."

Jin quickly stood up to give her some space to move. He glanced at the wall clock attached on the cafe's wall, and it was close to evening. Time flies when it's spent on someone you care about...

"I'll see you on the weekend." He randomly blurted out.

"R-right." Noel nervously placed her hand on his shoulder, "Don't stress yourself too much, okay? I was too distracted to tell you that."

"Thanks." He mused. Small talks were still not his thing. "Goodbye, Noel."

"Goodbye, Jin." She gave him one last smile before turning her back on him as she headed to the cafe's exit.

The blond let some time past to ponder for the future. He himself felt like a headless chicken where he was acting out of character, but since it managed to regain her friendship with her, why even care? As he came closer to the exit door, he could see various street lights illuminating the area, as there were still a handful of people still doing their usual thing. He noticed he was becoming more and more appreciative of the little things... probably influenced by a certain woman who he spent time with because of his raw longing to see her again.

...He felt his cheeks rose from temperature. No, he couldn't be seeing her that way. That'll be foolish.

As he headed back to the office, he didn't felt too jaded to work anymore, as he had a plan he was looking forward the most now, and that was his time to let loose and improve his social interaction with the help of Noel Vermillion, the person he would treat right this time.

* * *

 **A/N:** This was suppose to be just a really short drabble written out of whim, but my hands slipped and expanded this into 2K words. If you aren't aware, I'm spending more time with original fiction, the link to my Fictionpress is on my profile. Head over there if you want to see more of my stuff.


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